Monday, October 3, 2011

flare feels like the flu

ahhhhh, I take a few slow deep relaxing breathes..... it has been a long weekend....actually, it's been a long few days, and even WEEKS! Today, I slept ALOT. and I mean ALOT! I was able to do this because the girl's father took our youngest out to pizza hut (for some much craved wings) and then to his place and played some hard brain-teaser game online (it is for smart people, they think it's fun, it is hard, lol). And my oldest, ahhh, she was chillin' here at home, reading, and reading, and reading, and ..... she found out she has a report due on Wednesday and she had to finish her book, she spent 9 hours reading today. I spent that time sleeping.... I got up for a little while and bugged her, but she did it!!

This weekend I can truly say has been a fibro one! That is NOT a good thing. I am stronger than fibro, and I do win the war, but right now it feels like fibro has the upper-hand in "this war"! This afternoon, after I had got up for a while, well, been awake, moving, huh, that took more effort!! So I woke up, and stretched and finally sat up. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, getting up was gonna be a "mini battle" itself, and thought, "Man, it feels like I have the flu. I am tired, worn out, hurting, aching, some headache, and even feel feverish." And so I sat there and thought, "Hmm, could I have the flu." And then I went over my symptoms and thought about how I was feeling. "Fibro-flare, not a flu, but it feels like one." I remember feeling defeated and exhausted, but also thankful that I had the day to nap and rest. And I did just that. I rested, and rested, and.....

Today fibro might have got me, but it can only have my body. I will not let it destroy me! For me to say it will not have me period, no, that's not accurate. Fibro does have and will have a place in my life. A very prominent place that my life revolves around in so many ways. From the little things like trying to vacuum, do laundry, cooking and shopping to the big things like going on trips, planning events, and big celebrations and such. It creeps into EVERY area, small to large, which includes life's medium, like mowing the yard (to me, that is big, cuz I ain't even gonna get that baby started!).  (I have a wonderful person in my life and I am so thankful for all the help on my yard this year.)

I did get a lot accomplished when I was up today.... spent time with the girls, friends, subway, frap, washed a few loads of laundry, organized lists in the house, did the budget and bills, organized papers and even got my thoughts out on here..... I am getting there.... one step at a time.... (I notice that I say that ALOT).... my new mantra?? I am finally super sleepy and my baby (Ella ) is whining that it is time for bed, so gonna log off and shut down.... tomorrow is a new day.... :) Nite'

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