So lately I've been doing some thinking.... well, if you know me, a lot of thinking, my brain spins and spins and spins sometimes..... the docs are trying to stop that and the voices, just kidding, I promise, stop telling me to tell the blog about you, huh, no, I'm NOT listening, I REALLY am kidding!!! I am glad I have a brain that spins and is a little cooky though, not totally crazy, just me!! =)
So what has my brain been spinning about as of late? Life, love, and liberty? no... ahhh.... it is about my life, my "love life", hahaha!! and liberty, well, I have 1 out of 3 down! I have liberty! My freedom comes from Christ!!! YAY!! And my girls love me, God loves me even more and Ella loves me with every cell in her being, still though, God loves me more.... =) so really, that's 2 out of 3 I have down.... YAY!!! Go God!! I feel better already, so good to see what I do have then focusing on what I don't have......
But lately, in my head is from what someone said... not bad, just was.... "where the rubber meets the road"..... and sit back and watch, and I don't like where the car is going.... and only I can change that.... I can be soooo critical of others.... why don't they do this? Well, they said this..... But one that really does bother me, "I was gonna do such and such, but didn't cuz.... or I thought of that several times, but didn't cuz...... really?!? either do it or don't! and if you don't do it, don't tell me about it! really?!? not cool!! I hate when people say one thing and don't follow through. I once heard a long time ago: "mute the volume and watch the person, you'll know if they do as they say or are full of it". (I paraphrased that, but try it.... omg!!! some people). I wanna believe, but where are you? not here.... and the rubber is meeting the road and where are you?
Then I wonder, am I a hypocrite? Do I practice what I preach? Am I doing and saying two different things? I do try to follow through.... I do try to look inward..... and I do try to practice what I'm preaching..... not just for me, but cuz of my girls.... they are watching and are sponges, they soak up everything I do (not say, DO!). And I guess ultimately, people can say a lot of things and not mean them. I pray that my speech is right and that I do as I say..... I need to be more upfront and just tell people.... such and such, not cool, this and that, what? I am not one to keep silent.... although I know I should keep a roll of duct tape when I interupt my daughter; I'm trying sweetie...lol
Well, I sure went off track.... I feel much better and know what I need to do and not do, say and not say..... the words that rumble around in my brain may be "just sayings", but they are more... they are words to live by... not just cuz they sound cool.... but there's a reason why they are "life sayings", they are "tried and true"... next time I hear a clique', I will see it differently.... not just the little words making life all better, but because I am not the only one who has ever gone through difficulties and I am never alone!!! And I'm not just saying either..... I know ultimately that my heart belongs to Jesus and He will see me through everything!