Monday, April 18, 2011

About Me

(This was originally posted on facebook for a "description" and I found I was typing and typing and typing..... no writer's block 2nite!!)

I am a long time sufferer of fibromyalgia. It is a terrible disease! It isn't just physically debilitating though, having fibro (or any other kind of chronic pain) is also emotionaly and spiritually draining and debilitating. You can feel bleak, hopeless, alone...But we are never alone! God is just a "prayer-call" away! Living with pain day in and day out has changed my life, my whole world forever! Having fibromyalgia is the hardest thing I have ever had to endure in my whole life! It is even harder than parenthood! With being a parent there is a joy that comes back to you.

I am not just a "fibromyalgia SURVIVOR", I am also a Christian. The reason I am a 'survivor' is because of my SAVIOR! I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ! He (and my girls) are the reason I get up in the morning! Some days I can barely move, much less get out of bed, but I do make it, even if it's just to brush my teeth and hair due to the, unfortunately, all too familiar fibro "flare-up". God's got me in His hand and He has given me a wonderful family in my corner!

It has taken me a long time to be where I am with my disease and with God. I fought God, tried in vain to fight the disease (instead of relaxing into God's arms) rebelled against God, was angry and bitter at God for allowing me to get sick, for not making me well, for having to live with fibro! God never gave up on me and today I have His joy and His peace.... through knowing who He is and prayer.... Only with God can I make it through.... WITH GOD I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH ANYTHING, WITHOUT HIM, I HAVE NOTHING! It is only his peace and joy that have truely healed me. Let's face it, being in pain is no fun. It's hard to be happy when your body is waging war and you feel the fibro is winning. Some days the pain is so bad you just want to curl up and cry. Your told to "move around, it will make you feel better". But every step, every movement, every joint says otherwise! Fibro has declared war on my body and it is a fight every single day!

I got the idea for this page and for the email under the same name @yahoo when I was at my last doctor appt. I was getting shots in my "tender points" and while she is doing this, we are visiting about fibro and the pain associated with it. I was sharing with her some of the difficulties I have and how hard it really is! I opened up to her (while getting a shot in a very distinguishable knot in my neck) how there are people out there who don't believe in fibro, even some of my own family! What little $ I get from the government for disability isn't worth what I live with! Going out and getting a job would be fun and I'd make more money, see people, get involved more, be more productive.... like I said earlier, it is a terrible disease that is GREATLY misunderstood! My doctor told me I would be a good advocate for fibromyalgia. I have been wanting to "reach out" so to speak, and it seemed very "fitting".

This is a place to let your voice be heard, to be understood, to be encouraged..... Chronic pain makes us feel alone, but remember, you are never alone! God is always with you, EVEN when it doesn't feel like it. He has placed others in your life to help you along the way, to share the journey with, to reach out.... I hope that you will allow me to be a part of your journey and ask that you be a part of mine as well. Together, we CAN be stronger! Together, we CAN make a differance! Together, we CAN make it through!

In the end, may we be stronger people from what we go through. May we allow it to forge us into better people. To be made more empathetic, more caring, and softer. Only when we allow God INTO our pain, can we begin to heal! I don't know all the "why's" there are to suffering and God allowing it... but I do know WHO God is and what He does ON THE INSIDE!! He (and my children) are the reason I am who I am and do what I do.... even if it is to just get up in the morning and brush my teeth and hair because of the pain and feeling sick or being tired and weak from my 'never going anywhere' fibro and it's awful flare-ups! That's the worst days. There are good days as well, and I treasure them as do my family!

Would love to have you as a part of this community! Take care and God bless!

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