So I am sure everyone that is not able to work, whether on disability or not, that we are asked, "what do you do for a living?". When I was married and when my kids were younger, I'd always say housewife, domesticated godess, matriarch, mom, stay-at-home mom, homeschool teacher (did that when my girls were much younger before my health made me unable to do it, but they are doing great with school... at the moment, lol)..... the list goes on and on.... but now that my girls are older, my oldest is 15 and a freshman and my youngest is 11 and in jr high (6th grade)!!! They grew up sooo fast.... I still say I am a mom and stay home, take care of the house, which includes just about everything, lol... now, I'm just reaching out there... but they seem to assume that now that it is just me and the girls and has been for a while and they are older that I should be out working, or at least something part-time.... So, because it's nothing to be ashamed of and I am wanting to reach out there, I say I am unable to work because I have fibromyalgia. Usually people stop there.... most will show sympathy and are very kind, but there will always be some who don't and/or will never ever understand..... Got distracted there, on my "soapbox"....
I want to do what I want to do because I can and it's what I want to do! :) And what do I want to do? My kids are getting older, but right now at this moment they are still only 11 and 15 (with her permit and still needs mom, hehe), no, but seriously, I want to get back to where I was before my surgery, I want to enjoy the time I have with my girls, I want to enjoy and spend time with family and friends-build and maintain relationships, get well-as good as I can and keep trying to get better.... working on unpacking from a move and rebuilding my life from when it fell apart a few years back.... get well- oh, did I mention that already.... :) can never work too hard on trying to feel better.... The impossible may seem impossible, but you gotta learn to crawl before you can walk. And God's plan is never impossible.... I think sometimes we vear of course and we hit "dead-ends".... not always, cus sometimes the going is hard and our Shepherd carries us.... just some thoughts.....
So right now, I wanna get my life back to pre-surgery, my house put in order, continue to work on my fibro advocacy via writing/online/etc.... and maybe, if it's God's will, I would like to go back to college for journalism and work on writing and reaching out for fibro and chronic pain.... maybe some speaking... reach out.... if that's God's will.... but I know His will is for me to love Him with my whole heart and all my soul, and that is something I need to work on everyday!
Lord, help me to look to you, no matter what, when I'm feeling good and when I'm hurting.... may You guide me down Your path and may I recognize the paths you have set out for me..... Hold me and my family close and may the girls draw ever near to You in all they do! In Jesus name, Amen
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